13 Homer Simpson’s Quotes to Brighten Up Your Day
A cure for a bad mood
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“Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.”
“A gun is not a weapon! It’s a tool, like a hammer, or a screwdriver… or an alligator.”
“Stupidity got us into this mess, and stupidity will get us out.”
“I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life.
Number 1: Cover for me.
Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss!
Number 3: It was like that when I got here.”
“You can have all the money in the world, but there’s one thing you will never have… a dinosaur.”
“What’s the point of going out? We’re just going to wind up back here anyway.”
“I hope I didn’t brain my damage.”
“I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.”
“Don’t eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them!”
“Oh no! What have I done?
I smashed open my little boy’s piggy bank, and for what? A few measly cents, not even enough to buy one beer…
wait a minute, let me count and make sure…. not even close.”
“The code of the schoolyard, Marge!
The rules that teach a boy to be a man. Let’s see…
…don’t tattle, always make fun of those different from you, never say anything unless you’re sure everyone feels exactly the same way you do.”
“I’m in no condition to drive…wait! I shouldn’t listen to myself, I’m drunk!”
“I never apologize… I’m sorry but that’s the way I am.”
