13 Homer Simpson’s Quotes to Brighten Up Your Day

A cure for a bad mood

Simona Hostakova
2 min readOct 30, 2019


13 Homer Simpson’s Quotes to Brighten Up Your Day
credit: FOX via Getty Images

“Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.”

“A gun is not a weapon! It’s a tool, like a hammer, or a screwdriver… or an alligator.”

“Stupidity got us into this mess, and stupidity will get us out.”

“I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life.

Number 1: Cover for me.

Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss!

Number 3: It was like that when I got here.”

“You can have all the money in the world, but there’s one thing you will never have… a dinosaur.”

“What’s the point of going out? We’re just going to wind up back here anyway.”

“I hope I didn’t brain my damage.”

“I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.”

“Don’t eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them!”

“Oh no! What have I done?

I smashed open my little boy’s piggy bank, and for what? A few measly cents, not even enough to buy one beer…

wait a minute, let me count and make sure…. not even close.”

“The code of the schoolyard, Marge!

The rules that teach a boy to be a man. Let’s see…

…don’t tattle, always make fun of those different from you, never say anything unless you’re sure everyone feels exactly the same way you do.”

“I’m in no condition to drive…wait! I shouldn’t listen to myself, I’m drunk!”

“I never apologize… I’m sorry but that’s the way I am.”



Simona Hostakova

I share my best insights on marketing, writing, freelancing & personal growth | simonahostakova.com | Looking for writing jobs? https://bit.ly/3sx3X3J